We’re all a bit sad (and that’s ok)

“We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.” Thich Nhat Hanh

About 3 years ago my life changed completely. From the moment I gave birth up until now, I’ve been becoming a different person. As a first-time mom, I constantly try to make my daughter feel happy every day. I also wonder a lot about the true meaning of happiness, and how harmful can be to pursue it 24/7. I think it’s way better to do our best to find balance, allowing the emotions to gently come and go as if they’re just guests passing by.

My little girl started to express her feelings using words only a few months ago. She’s always been an empath and possibly a highly sensitive child. She feels emotions deeply and with a degree of intensity that is difficult to explain to others sometimes. I’ve been researching on this topic, and I’ve realised I have some of these traits. Yoga, mindfulness and meditation have been great allies since my 20’s, before that, I basically relied on religion from the West (Christ teachings), and of course my parents.

Almost every day my daughter tells me: “Mammy, I’m a bit sad” – and I know then that I have to comfort her even when there’s no apparent reason behind her sadness. Sometimes she confuses boredom with sadness, and I tell her we need to find fun activities to do so that we can feel happy again. However, sometimes a hug is enough, sometimes nothing is enough and she has to learn to cope with her emotions on her own. I’ve found clever solutions to help her deal with her sadness: the calm down jar, the relaxation corner etc and there’s always a moment when both of us need to embrace sadness as part of human nature.

We can pretend sadness is not there but sooner or later we’ll have to face it.

Sometimes sadness comes disguised as anger or frustration. We need to recognise that as adults too. Life is not always the way we are expecting it to be (yes, that’s right, I’m talking about you Covid). We need to be able to navigate with the disappointments and the nonsense that society brings to us sometimes.

We receive training from our parents when we’re babies, trying to adapt to this strange world, but in fact, none of us know why are here, and that’s a bit sad. The truth is that we hold on to our faith because we have no other option. We need to believe life has at least a decent meaning or forget about it altogether and live a careless life. Most of us choose the first option and our lives are in general more fulfilling.

Sadness is undeniable, oftentimes is the root of our worries, body tension anxiety, and mental problems in general. It’s there for the poor and the rich as well as the healthy and the ill. We don’t need to fight our sadness, we need to embrace it and give her the attention it needs with love and kindness. It might never go away, it’s just another emotion, not what we really are as sentient beings.

We need to take care of ourselves, provide mindful routines to our minds, healthy eating, and safe spaces for catharsis.

Have you found your own way of cultivating emotional balance and a peaceful state of mind beyond ordinary happiness? I hope you have, if not you can always give it a go to a yoga class. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed 😉


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