Too much pride or good self-esteem? The balance between opposites

When was the last time you felt proud of yourself? Have you ever wonder what kind of pride have you been feeling? Is it coming from being arrogant in some way? Is it coming from the heart and soul? Do you feel the need to tell others about your accomplishments? Letting the world know about the things you achieved and enjoying their positive reactions? Are there different types of achievements better than others?

I have been thinking about it. Observing my own feelings in the past and the present when achieving certain things. I noticed the sensations of pride were connected to my beliefs and to what (I imagine) others could think about them, or what others told me about them. That other people could be family or friends. In other scenarios that other people could be from the jobs that I have had. In many cases, I often felt proud when others pointed out I did a good work. It happens since we are kids… They tell us: You’re a good boy/girl – when we do the things they’re expecting us to do. And it almost seems like a performance. However, when it happens the other way around, we get bad feedback and we feel sad.

If I had to list the options related to pride, these would be the top 3:

  • We put our self-esteem and personal pride in others people’s hands (based on their opinions).
  • We create our own bubble of arrogance, where we deny the way we affect others with our behaviour, and we feel superior to others in some way.
  • We concentrate on the personal satisfaction of achieving our life goals. We build our own self-esteem. We understand being better than others is not the point. Healthy competition is good but it doesn’t have to define our feeling of personal victory.

After listing these 3 points, I realised there are small victories in our life that we don’t give enough credit. Maybe because others don’t know about them, or because they seem so silly we don’t bother to tell anybody. However, those small victories are more important than we think. If we keep looking at them closely, we’ll notice how good it feels to make little things happen, even when nobody else noticed them.

Since I became a mom I have been observing so many small victories that nobody would fully understand, other than parents like me (if they are mindful enough about their own small victories). For example, I still feel proud of myself when I put my baby girl to sleep and I can get things done, even regular things, like cooking a nurturing meal for me and my family, or taking a long bath with natural soap and smelling the exquisite aromas the world provides through nature. The list is long! Unfortunately, these simple things are the most incredible ones and the least rewarded, from a social point of view. It’s up to us give them the recognition they deserve. This doesn’t mean we’ll have to deny accepting and enjoying nice compliments from other people. We just need to be more mindful of our thoughts and beliefs, so we can feel good about ourselves, no matter how many compliments we have received from others.

When was the last time you felt proud of yourself (from your heart and soul), stopping in the middle of a long day and doing something so basic but so special that nobody would even care about?

If you can’t think of any, it’s time you do! And if you’re remembering one or more, then congratulations! (You didn’t need to read this from me anyway) Whoever you are, I invite you to observe more and more without talking too much about it 😉


Any thoughts? Leave a comment below!

15-minute audio recorded by Lady Jerez

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