It is all about self-control

Yes, it might sound obvious but one of our biggest challenges as human beings is to master self-control. The lessons start since we are babies. We need to learn how to control our bodies first in order to communicate, to move, etc. The journey never ends. Now as a mom, I can see how difficult is this task for us since the beginning of our life.

According to Wikipedia self-control is an aspect of inhibitory control. It’s the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior in the face of temptations and impulses. This is what I see every day when I’m trying to understand my baby behaviors. Then I realise how I also need to work on my self-control, especially when she cries and screams so hard because she’s exhausted and she doesn’t know how to fall asleep by herself. It’s incredible the effort that I also have to make to control myself, to confront these dramatic episodes without joining my baby in tears. Motherhood really teaches you lots of self-control and patient lessons…

You can choose to see these teachings as a torture, a blessing or a lesson. I choose to see them as lessons that could seem like a torture or a blessing. After all, life is dualistic. Yin and yang energies emerge in our life all the time, and we need to find the middle point where we can be neutral or allow ourselves to experience the extremes.

Sometimes I mindfully decide it is ok to cry with my baby, for example. Sometimes it is ok to be angry, to feel frustrated, excited, etc. Sometimes life is what it is, full of thoughts and emotions that you can only observe and choose to control if they’re out of control. You are the master of your life and you should be able to control what you need to control without obsessing about it. In meditation is not everything about control though. It’s about acceptance and letting go of certain thoughts and emotions, which in my opinion, ultimately, leads you to have a better control of your life and those circumstances you attract with your mind.

Life on earth finds its way to teach you the lessons you need to learn. This includes “blessings” and “tortures”. At the end of the day only WE are the judges of our own experiences. Nobody else can choose for us how we see life. That is why it is so important to realise that we are not victims of life. We can choose how to see and label things. We can build our own future (which is always the present happening later on) and paint our picture with the colours that were given to us.

Can we have the freedom and peaceful life we are looking for by mastering self-control of negative emotions and thoughts? I do believe so… but this is my choice… Did you make a choice about this already? Keep reflecting upon it and the silent answer will become a certainty for you.



15-minute audio recorded by Lady Jerez


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