The waves of motherhood
Becoming a mom is like landing on a paradisiac island. You stare at the crystalline water (your baby’s eyes) and you can’t really explain the miracle of life. White sand under your feet and warm sunrays shining on your face. However, you begin to notice that this paradisiac island is incredibly volatile. You realise that you don’t really know anything about this island… You look around and see other islands from the distance. Every island is different they say… You are on your own!
The island becomes a scary place sometimes, and it demands your undivided attention and patience. Some days you start seeing the gray clouds over your head and the waves becoming agitated. The animals start hiding away and a storm develops without notice. You feel anxious but you have to embrace the storm with your best smile and attitude. You try to learn more about this island. It gets very windy and dark. You don’t know if you’re going to survive this but you have to try. It’s up to you and your partner to figure it all out (and learn how to make a great team while you are at it). The storm develops in so many different ways, and when you get used to the unpredictability of the island, another threat comes by. Every island is different indeed.
It can take months before feeling more or less confident on this island, where you can enjoy the most beautiful dawn and dusk sceneries, the most incredible animals in the world, and the most amazing sunny days full of laughs and cuddles. There are also so many fun things to do on this island, but there are always times when you know the storm is coming by and you need to find your inner strength (and deep yogi breaths) to embrace it. Sometimes you need to allow yourself to cry and get mad because you don’t know how to be the “perfect” keeper of this island. This is the way I feel about motherhood. Maybe because I am a first-time mom with no family support, but I can’t deny this experience has been as overwhelming as delightful.
I want to keep enjoying my little 2-year-old island now that she is starting to have conversations instead of crying uncontrollably when she’s not able to cope with a situation (ok, she throws tantrums sometimes as well, but hey I can find ways to communicate with her, and the storm lasts a lot less than before). She’s developing her little personality. It is AMAZING to observe how tiny humans grow up and learn about the world. It is like re-learning anything you thought you knew about the human mind. You need to observe and analyse your island hoping you are making the best decisions for them until they are ready to make their own.
Right now I can only say I LOVE my little island so much, and although sometimes I miss the freedom I had before having a baby, I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. Being a mom is my SUPERPOWER and the best thing that has happened to me despite all the storms. Now I fully understand the meaning of this superpower that the parents’ community talk about all the time 🙂